Thursday, September 30, 2010

Incredibly Depressing Mega Millions Lottery Simulator!

Incredibly Depressing Lottery Simulator

Previously, I reported on an interesting coincidence concerning the LottoMax random number generator used to populate quick-pick tickets.

Now you can simulate playing a set of lottery numbers twice a week for ten years using the Mega Millions Lottery Simulator, and see how much you spend and win.

I played the numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 twice for ten years.  At the bottom of a long list of 1040 draw results, my summary was the following:
You played 1040 games of Mega Millions. It cost $1040. You won $133.
Give it a try and post your results in the comments. Good luck!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

US Assistant Attorney General Obsessed with Gay Young Man

Andrew Shirvell: self-loathing closet homosexual cyber-bullying bigot?

Andrew Shirvell's gay obsession photoshop

This story originates in Michigan USA but the bizarro factor is so high it's going viral around the world.

Andrew Shirvell, assistant attorney general for Michigan, has for the past several months been authoring a blog solely dedicated to stalking and attacking the student council president of the university he previously attended because "he's a radical homosexual activist with a deeply radical agenda at the University of Michigan."

Here's Anderson Cooper exposing Shirvell as a self-loathing closeted homosexual cyber-bullying bigot, live on CNN:

Christopher Hitchens writes aptly about men like Shirvell in
Set your watch and sit back, and pretty soon they will be found sprawling lustily on the floor of the men's room [indulging in homosexual pleasures].
Mike Cox, Michigan's attorney general, has been inundated with calls to fire his assistant.

CNN has more

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Canada's Banned Assisted Suicide Commercial

The Television Bureau of Canada has banned this commercial after receiving e-mail from moral supremacists who seek to impose their beliefs on others:

End of Life Choices advocate Dr Philip Nitschke PhD, MD will be speaking in Vancouver on Thursday October 7 at the Unitarian Church of Vancouver, 949 49th Ave West.

He'll be in Toronto on October 13th at the 1st Unitarian Congregation of Toronto, 175 St Claire Ave West.

A peaceful death is everybody's right.

This is what censorship looks like:

Subject: RE: Requested documentation
Date: Fri, 24 Sep 2010 09:03:39 -0400
From: TVB [Television Bureau of Canada]

Hi Philip,

Since our last correspondence and your e-mail release to your contacts about Telecaster Approving your script, we have received a great volume of e-mails threatening, pleading and warning us not to approve your commercial, as doing so would be a violation of the Canadian Criminal Code.

We had our lawyer look into the matter and we think we have found a way for your spot to be approved. The following changes would need to be made to your commercial, in order for Telecaster to approve your commercial:

Remove all audio and video mention of Exit International from the commercial, and
Remove the Exit International Logo from the commercial, and
Remove the url/web address for Exit International from the commercial, and
To comply with our Issue and Opinion Guideline, the commercial must contain proper advertiser identification.

So having “Authorized by Dr Philip Nitschke.” in audio and video, appearing on screen for 3 seconds, in a font size, type and colour that is legible to the average viewer would be acceptable under the Telecaster Guidelines and the Canadian Criminal Code

Please note that having the organization name “Exit International” or it’s logo or it’s url/web address is not acceptable under the Canadian Criminal Code as it could direct viewers to the web to find out more and this would result in the viewer finding out that the organization provides seminars and information that promote, educate and counsel individuals on how to commit suicide.

Please send the revised commercial when ready. If you have any questions, please let me know. Thank you.

Regards, Brian
Brian George
Telecaster Commercial Analyst
Tel: (416) 413-3880 | Fax: (416) 413-3877
Brian George, just another man following orders obediently.

Are the TVB lawyers correct? Is it really against the law to publish a Canadian link to the website? I just did, let's see what happens.

There's a relevant case before the BC Court of Appeal right now concerning the liability of hyperlinking - Crookes vs. Newton - which is expected to support the original judge's decision:
[30] Although a hyperlink provides immediate access to material published on another website, this does not amount to republication of the content on the originating site. This is especially so as a reader may or may not follow the hyperlinks provided.
Further to that, am I breaking the law by publishing the fact that taking sedatives and falling asleep with a large Helium-filled bag sealed around one's neck is one of the most elegant, peaceful ways for terminal patients to expire themselves?

A peaceful death is everybody's right.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Quebec is the Most Corrupt Province in Canada?

Stop whining!

Macleans cover depicts BonHomme Carnaval as corrupt Quebec politician.

The FCCQ (Federation of chambers of commerce of Quebec) is asking Macleans Magazine to publicly apologize for their latest cover story Quebec: The Most Corrupt Province.

Wimpy wimpy wimpy!

If the FCCQ really represents the 100,000 businesspeople they claim to, they should have a hefty rebuttal power which includes the following options:

1. Write a letter to the editor of Macleans Magazine, debunking the article's claims on behalf of all members.

2. Invite reporters to a press conference and explain which facts Macleans got wrong.

3. Start a fancy website or a free blog that provides evidence to counter the claims made by Macleans.

4. Launch a boycott campaign against Macleans Magazine (shouldn't be a problem with 100,000 businesspeople on their side.)

5. Launch a YouTube PR campaign featuring videos from Quebec business people rebutting the claims made in the Macleans article.

6. Picket and protest Macleans properties and offices.

(Did I miss anything?)

When did defending one's position on the merits go out of style? When did demands of retraction and apology, and threats of libel and lawfare and SLAPP lawsuits replace the good old-fashioned fact-based rebuttal?

Too Soon?

Segway mishap kills company's U.K. owner

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Corner Cat's Night Out on the Town

Guest post by Corner Cat:

Let me be the first to say meow that it's not easy being Corner Cat. Manning Catting my sidewalk checkpoint is actually quite challenging work. Meowing at human passers-by in return for affectionate pets and satisfying scratches (behind my ears, under my chin etc.) all day is very exhausting! Sometimes I just need a night off to relax and unwind.

Corner Cat pushes a six-pack of beer down the sidewalk.

There's this dog on my block and it's always sniff sniff sniff every time I come around, especially when I have beer or pot catnip.

Corner Cat: "NO doggy I will NOT share my sudz with you!"

Once I settle into my drinking spot, I appeal to anyone with opposable thumbs to pop the tabs for me.

Corner Cat: "I can haz beer cans opened please?"

Woot yahooz! I'z drunk and doez gone go fishing for goldfish here yo!

Corner Cat: been caught fishin' *burp*


Corner Cat: "Why iz I see double of you taking picturez?"

Stay tuned.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Free Speech, Seriously? BCCLA Policy Director Micheal Vonn

"This is not a time to be optimistic about free speech rights in Canada" Vonn told an audience of 200 in the Fletcher Challenge Theatre at SFU Vancouver Sept. 23:

More to come, stay tuned.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Happy National Day, Saudi Arabia.

"Non-Muslim Bypass:" Non-Muslims are barred from entering Mecca. An example of religious segregation.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Richard Dawkins Smacks Down Pope in UK Visit

Witnesses: "It was a verbal beheading"

Dawkins: Pope is "enemy of humanity, children, women, gays, truth, the poor, science"

Speaking to a 10,000-strong "Protest the Pope" rally on September 18 in London, Richard Dawkins pulled no pontiff punches (video below):
"...[Pope Benedict XVI] Joseph Ratzinger is an enemy of humanity.

He is an enemy of children who's bodies he has allowed to be raped, and minds he has encouraged to be infected with guilt. It is embarrassingly clear that the church is less concerned with saving child bodies' from rapists than saving priestly souls from hell, and most concerned with saving of the church itself.

He is an enemy of women, barring them from the priesthood as though a penis was an essential tool for duties.

He is an enemy of gay people, bestowing on them the bigotry that the church used to reserve for Jews before 1962.

He is an enemy of truth, promoting bare-faced lies about condoms not protecting from Aids, especially in Africa.

He is an enemy of the poorest people on the planet, condemning them to inflated families that they cannot feed, so keeping them in the bondage of perpetual poverty - a poverty which sits ill beside the obscene wealth of the Vatican.

He is an enemy of science, obstructing the vital stem cell research on grounds not of true morality but on pre-scientific superstition..."

That's a great example of free speech in action. Pope Ratzinger is free to respond with a speech or statement of his own, rebutting the points made by Dawkins. It would certainly be enlightening to hear the Pope defend his claim that condoms could make the African Aids crisis worse.

If he ever visited Canada, should Canadian taxpayers foot the $19 million bill for hosting the Pope? Nope.

Awesome OK Go Video

A little hump day humor - this video is amazing, all done in one take! The dogs are cute and... wait, was that a goat?

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Lighthouse Park Rocks

On which I dance atop a tower of 100-million-year-old granite surrounded by the Pacific Ocean:

BulletproofCourier dances at dangerous altitude. Photo by Sidekick

Click to enlarge pic - you can see my shoelaces shaking!

What could possibly go wrong?


Lighthouse Park, West Vancouver, BC Canada. Ten minutes from my new beach house.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Stephen Harper's Science Censor-Matic

What is the Harper government afraid of? Canadians will find out there's evidence the Earth is more than 6,000 years old?

John Kelly Site Allegedly Libels Calgary Police

Calgary man John Kelly has been arrested and jailed for allegedly libeling the Calgary Police on his website

The libel case against Kelly is weak as a kitten. To a reasonable person, his website reads like a disorganized rant from a conspiracy nut, not to be taken seriously. Just look at the table of contents at the top of his homepage:

"Substantial Proof. Irrefutable Proof. Irrefutable Proof 2."

Who could possibly take this stuff seriously? Apparently only the Calgary Police, who undoubtedly account for the majority of visitors to Kelly's website. The other nine readers clicked on the site by accident, became confused, and pressed the back button on their web browser.

Bold and baseless anti-authority accusations on a fringe website that nobody reads do not constitute serious or significant injury to the reputation of another person. There are thousands of such sites on the Internet and the Calgary Police only flatter themselves by claiming victim status. What they really seek is payback against long-time critic John Kelly for his ebullient and rambling criticisms that no reasonable person would believe or take seriously anyways.

Calgary Police should beware the Streisand Effect:
"An attempt to censor or remove a piece of information has the unintended consequence of causing the information to be publicized widely and to a greater extent than would have occurred if no censorship had been attempted."
As crazy as Kelly's claims against the Calgary Police are, some of them are very specific. Things that are being fact-checked right now by reporters on the story. Will the Calgary Police Service benefit from this increased scrutiny? Time will tell.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

LICK-A-CHICK in North Sydney, Nova Scotia

A BPC reader submits this photo from North Sydney, Nova Scotia:

I wonder if the bush in the foreground is accidental or was the photographer being clever?

LICK-A-CHICK on Facebook


Lick-a-Chick machine

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

That's A Lotta Wood!

Lots of opportunities for great pictures in English Bay, Vancouver BC:

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Marc Emery Gets 5 Year Sentence Despite US Prosecutor Hypocrisy

Video: Canadian PM Stephen Harper needs a smack in the head.

Marc Emery - a Canadian citizen renditioned by the Vancouver Police to the USA on orders from the DEA - has been sentenced to five years in jail by a US federal court one week after his original prosecutor condemned US drug policy and called for an end to marijuana prohibition.

Former US prosecutor John McKay declared in a bipolar Seattle Times guest column:
"the law has failed, the public is endangered, no one in law enforcement is talking about it..."
McKay believes marijuana should be treated like alcohol:
"policymakers should strive for a regulatory and criminal scheme like the one guarding that other commodity that failed miserably at prohibition, alcohol."
It's great to see Mr. McKay speaking out against draconian US and DEA drug policies now, but where was his bark when he played lapdog for DEA admin Karen P. Tandy during Emery's political arrest in 2005?

For many years, John McKay imprisoned people under laws he didn't believe in. Karma awaits.

Adding insult to injury is California's upcoming vote on Proposition 19 to legalize marijuana in the Hollywood state, sounding the final death knell of marijuana prohibition in many northern and central US states.

For following government orders regardless of their cruelty and harm to fellow citizens, John McKay is awarded the 2010 human garbage prize.

John McKay: "Yes I hurt other people and destroyed lives but I was just following orders"

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Vancouver: City in a Forest

My picture makes Vancouver look like an idyllic planet from a Star Wars movie!

Cue the space ships flying over Lost Lagoon and the sound of light sabers clashing in Stanley Park before cutting to an overbusy special effects scene directed by George Lucas.

Towers Above Trees, by BulletproofCourier

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

David Hasselhoff Roast Clipped by Comedy Network in Canada

Video of most offensive comedians hidden behind most boring celebrities

Jokes about slavery, Holocaust denial, HIV/AIDS: Too spicy for Canadian stomachs?

Canada's Comedy Network recently aired the US-based Comedy Central Roast of David Hasselhoff and is now hosting the video on it's website.

I grew up watching David in Knight Rider - it was one reason I took an early interest in computers and became the successful beach house owner I am today - so I really enjoyed watching Hasselhoff getting skewered at this barn-burner of a celebrity roast.

Prudes be damned, when celebrities and comedians roast each other the jokes are rude, crude, offensive and sometimes a chaotic shock to the humerus. (Learn what a roast is here)

Although the Comedy Network claims to offer the show uncensored, let's examine how they divided the Hasselhoff Roast into 8 online clips:

Clip 1
: 16:21 (Introduction, warm-up by Seth Green)
Clip 2: 04:48 (George Hamilton)
Clip 3: 06:41 (Jeffrey Ross)
Clip 4: 05:48 (Hulk Hogan)
Clip 5: 11:20 (Pamela Anderson, Gilbert Gottfried)
Clip 6: 07:54 (Jerry Springer, Whitney Cummings)
Clip 7: 05:59 (Greg Geraldo)
Clip 8: 08:39 (David Hasselhoff, conclusion)

See what they did there? The Comedy Network gave each celebrity roaster their own clip, except for Gilbert Gottfried and Whitney Cummings. Why?

Why are two professional comedians tacked onto the back end of clips of non-comedians Pam Anderson and Jerry Springer?

I think the Comedy Network hopes to minimize exposure of Gilbert Gottfried making these jokes:
"Lisa Lamponelli, I do have one question. Where are all the black guys you claim to be having sex with? Do you really think that in this day and age there's any black guy who would be caught dead inside anyone who's the size of a slave ship?"

"Actually Lisa has an important role in African-American history. It turns out the last black man to pick cotton was yanking out her tampon!"

"You know I've always heard that David Hasselhoff has sold millions in Germany, but like a lot of stories out of Germany, those numbers are probably inflated, if not a complete hoax."
And this zinger from Whitney Cummings:
"Pam [Anderson], you've slept with Brett Michaels, Tommy Lee and Kid Rock. Why don't you just save yourself some time and drink a vat of Magic Johnson's blood?"
In Canada, stand-up comic Guy Earle was put on trial for much less (see Guy Earle Trial) so it's no surprise the Comedy Network might be on guard about possible Human Rights complaints when editing these clips.

Welcome to the chilling effect.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Corner Cat Monitors West End Sidewalk

Corner Cat: "Checkpoint! A little bit of luvin' required to pass here pleez."

Stay tuned.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Adorable Corner Cat Lifts Neighborhood Spirits

Corner Cat: "I can has belly scratch?"

Stay tuned for the story of how this friendly adorable cat brings happiness to the local community.

Corner Cat: "I surrender, you may scratch my belly."

Friday, September 3, 2010

Sarah Palin Bares her Grizzly Clause in Vancouver, BC Canada

October 13th Vancouver Book Club Appearance Nets Mama Grizz $75,000 Scratch

Sarah Palin will speak at the Über exclusive Vancouver Club - 915 West Hastings street - on October 13.

Admission to the Bon Mot Book Club event reportedly costs $500 by invitation only so in case I can't snag a golden ticket, I'll be Going Rogue and putting together a team to get photos and film of Sarah Palin and her entourage wherever they might go in Vancouver (e-mail me if interested in joining).

Where will Palin stay in Vancouver?

A Google search for "what hotel do celebrities stay at in Vancouver bc" returns a fascinating article about celebrities who stay at the Sutton Place Hotel in Vancouver, but they're primarily TV and film stars.

A recent Vanity Fair article - recommended reading to learn more about Sarah Palin - provides some very good clues to her possible Vancouver den:
[H]er speaking contract demands deluxe hotel rooms, first-class air travel, and bottles of water with bendable straws...
OK, so what's the most deluxe and expensive hotel in Vancouver that also provides bendy straws?

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Major Police Incident at Shangri-La Vancouver Hotel


Dan Burritt from News1130: Strange assualt at the Shangri-La tower

Terry Bell from CKNW reports on Crime in Tallest Building

More than a dozen police vehicles including two Emergency Response Team SUVs were hastily parked on the street outside Vancouver's Shangri-La hotel around 9pm tonight.

Initial witness accounts ranged from "it was a shootout" to "a balcony burglar" to "a guy with a knife".

Earlier, two ambulances had arrived and left the scene. It is not yet known if anyone was injured.

My video here shows 3 Vancouver Police Department sergeants in the locked-down lobby of the Shangri-La, talking to tense hotel managers while two officers take a knee at the hotel mailboxes to study evidence on a laptop computer:

Stay tuned.